In search of the perfect tree
For some of us, finding the perfect Christmas tree is something of an obsession. For a number of years, we visited tree farms in the Charleston area with reasonable success; generally ending up with a tree that was bigger than we needed. One year, we decided we didn’t have time for the lengthy drive to the Toogoodoo Christmas tree farm that was located on Younges Island. Instead, we made a decision to shop at a stand in Mt. Pleasant that advertised trees from western NC.
Since we had never shopped at a tree stand, we didn’t know that people in Charleston purchase their trees at Thanksgiving – or in early December at the latest. Thus, in mid-December, when we arrived at the parking lot where the ‘Mountain Man’ had set up shop, we found a very limited selection – i.e., maybe three trees. The only attractive one was HUGE, but the man convinced us that it would work for us. The fact that he gave us break on the price and had his helper, who owned a truck, deliver it to our house on Isle of Palms may have helped to make our decision. Several hours later, just as it was starting to get dark, the truck and the tree arrived. After scoping out the delivery routes, it was pretty apparent that the tree would have to come in via the back outside stairs, across the deck, and through the double doors into the living room. Allen and the delivery guy wrestled the tree into the house, at which point, it became our problem.
Our tree had to be 15 feet tall, and very fat, but we managed to get it into the tree stand (probably purchased that year to accommodate the over-sized tree). Once the tree was upright, we were just about to congratulate ourselves when the stand slowly slid out from under the tree, and the tree fell to the floor, pinning one unsuspecting person under it. Next step, pull the tree upright again, brush off the pine needles, and start over. After several attempts, we finally had to wire the tree to two window frames, and attach the stand to the floor with duct tape. But once we had it decorated (three large boxes of ornaments later), it was one impressive tree!
After moving to western NC, we assumed tree farms would be easily accessible, but that hasn’t been the case. The first couple of years, we found nice trees at different lots, but it didn’t quite compare to the experience of going to a farm. Two years ago, an article appeared in a local paper detailing the story of a couple who had started a “you-cut” tree farm in Henderson County. Somewhere along the way, they gave up on the idea, and decided to open their property to people who wanted to cut their own just to get the land cleared. Perhaps our first clue about how strange this adventure would be was when we called the number listed in the article to check their hours. After several attempts to connect, we resorted to using the email address that was also included in the article. This worked, and the owners sent us a time to visit them, along with directions to a church parking lot somewhere near their house. We were told that we would be given the remaining directions once we called from the parking lot.
In retrospect, we had to wonder … what were we thinking? But we decided to go along with it, so on a very brisk Saturday morning we headed out. We made it as far as Saluda when we realized we had no rope to tie the tree onto the car. A stop at the general store is always fun, since you get to talk with Mr. Pace who is beyond charming. A half an hour later, with our clothes line in hand, off we went. After driving to an area that was completely unfamiliar to us, we found the church and called the number we had been given, and received our instructions.
As we followed the directions provided, we began to wonder if we were lost, but finally turned into a very long driveway. The place had spectacular views of Hendersonville and Laurel Park, and one of the strangest houses we had seen. From the exterior, it appeared to be a single wide that had seen major growth spurts at different points in time. It had everything – including a second story, an upstairs deck, a semi-attached carport and a built-in, ‘enclosed’ porch. And then there was the stand-alone deck on the edge of the property that provided an amazing view of the mountains. But what drew our attention was the picnic table, on which rested the remains of breakfast. Now, it was COLD out there (we were in very warm coats), so we had to wonder, who was eating breakfast outside in that weather? When the owner of the property came out to greet us in shorts and a tee shirt, we really began to wonder!
After admiring the view and hearing the story of how he had found this spectacular piece of property, we were given the drill – just walk around; select a tree; come back for a saw and whatever help might be required; cut the tree down, and pay. Trouble, big trouble … what trees? All over the hill side were very tall trunks with branches on one side and pretty much nothing on the remainder of the tree (see attached rendition; even though we can’t draw, this is frighteningly accurate). The problem that we quickly realized we were now facing – how do you tell the person in charge that the baby isn’t just ugly, perhaps it’s not really a baby? Not even Charlie Brown would have deemed these trees worthy of dragging home. We slowly wandered back down the hill, and watched an ancient fire truck arrive on the scene. Several guys climbed out and proceeded to look for a tree for their church (we still have no idea what a fire truck and a church have in common). They quickly decided that topping one of the magnificent blue spruces on the property was a great idea, something we weren’t equipped to do. The owner of the property had gone in to take a phone call, so we were lucky enough get away by asking the fire truck crew to tell the guy in charge that the trees were just too big for our little house prior to requesting the truck move enough for us to wiggle our car out from behind it, hop in the car, and make our exit. To say it was a truly creepy experience would be an understatement in spite of the chance to see those fabulous views… Of course our next decision to stop in Hendersonville for coffee didn’t work out any better since the Christmas parade was just about to start. This, of course, meant no place to park, and therefore no coffee. The tree that year came from our local hardware store.
As you have surmised, none of this really has anything to do with food, but the stories are definitely “seasonal”. And on that topic, the corner photo was taken during one of the years we volunteered as Santa and Mrs. Claus in downtown Charleston. This experience taught us that with enough “fat packs” and make up, you can turn almost anyone into Santa. If you want more info on that gig, check with Allen about the fun of having the the young women from College of Charleston line up to have their photo taken with Santa… We promise that recipes will appear in the next post!
